How to Sustain Your Long Distance Relationship: Be Committed to the Relationship
You Can Sustain Your Long Distance Relationship
Kofi lives in Ghana, a country found on the African continent. His girlfriend, Eunice, lives in England. They have been in a long-distance relationship for three years now. So far, their relationship has progressed smoothly and both of them are happy, still love each other, and know it will end in a happy marriage.
How have they sustained their long-distance relationship up till now?
Making a long distance relationship work can be very challenging because both of you are not located at the same place. However, you can overcome the obstacles and make it succeed if you adopt the right approach.
Below, I want to share a few long distance relationship ideas with you which will help you solve some of your long distance relationship questions, and to help you sustain your long distance relationship.
So, what can you do to sustain your long distance relationship?
1. Long Distance Relationship Communication Must Be Frequent
Communication is one of the essential ingredients of any relationship—it helps one to express his feelings and desires, to make open issues he or she is not happy about so that they can be resolved, and also aids in showing signs of affection which acts as a fuel to drive the relationship smoothly.
Communication is extremely important in a long distance relationship because it may not be possible for you to see each other in the flesh frequently. In addition, human beings tend to forget people they do not hear from regularly, or who they do not have the time to talk to or contact.
You should therefore agree to contact each other every day or every other day. The two of you should decide on a particular time of a day when it will be convenient for you talk, and resolve to show commitment to meeting that obligation. Make sure you discipline yourself and cut off whatever you are doing to make that call when the appointed time arrives; do not let that time pass and give excuses which may make your partner think that you do not care about the relationship anymore. This will result in the long distance relationship weakening. If you will not be available at the time you both agree to connect, let your lover know in advance, and offer an alternate time so that you can make up for the time you missed.
Communicating frequently will help you to know what is happening in the life of your lover, and to know what to do to offer support at any time. For example if you know he is going through great times and is happy, you can decide to by a gift for him to show your love. If he is going through sorrow or pain, then when you call, your focus will be on offering words of encouragement and comfort.
2. Use Technology
In today’s world of technological advancement, long distance relationship problems, such as communicating across great distances, has been made easier.
There are many ways you can keep in touch with your loved one:
- You can make a Skype video call so that you will see each other. When you see the person, it will make you feel your lover is close and connected, which will give you some moments of joy.
- Send each other pictures, cards, and emoticons through social media to make your lover know you still care about them, and are thinking about them. Knowing what you are up to will sustain their interest in you and keep the long distance relationship going.
3. Visit Regularly
One of the long distance relationship activities you should engage in is to try to make sacrifices of time and money to visit each other whenever the opportunity avails itself. This will offer you the opportunity to understand the body language of your partner, to understand the way the person thinks, afford you time to talk about things you may not feel too comfortable talking about on the phone or computer, and give you the opportunity to meet some of his friends and family.
Visiting will give you an opportunity to judge your lover’s character better, get to know his interests and dislikes, so that you can come up with strategies to please him. For example, you can do research about his likes and include them in your long distance relationship conversation topics.
When you visit your lover, you can take the opportunity to also gauge whether the person is the right person for you.
Use this time too to assess the relationship, talk about how far you have come, discuss what you both want for the relationship, discuss long distance relationship problems you are both facing, and make plans for the future if you feel you are right for each other, and see long-term prospects for the romantic relationship.
4. Deal With Long Distance Relationship Depression
Because you are separated from your lover, you can develop long distance relationship anxiety—sometimes your imagination can run wild and make you think all sorts of uncomplimentary thoughts about your lover, especially if he has cheated on you before, or given you reason not to trust him or her.
Therefore it is important that you learn to control your mind and prevent it from worrying about where your lover is, what he is doing at any given moment, who he is with, and other concerns like these.
If you have such thoughts regularly about your partner, it shows you are feeling insecure about the relationship, and you have to deal with any issues you think can negatively affect the relationship, and also work on your self-esteem.
To check this problem:
- Trust your lover and give him the benefit of the doubt. If there are any trust issues, meet and discuss them.
- Recognize your lover also has a life of his own and must be given the room to be an individual separate from you.
- Occupy our mind—read, or watch a comedy movie, or visit friends and talk so that your mind will not have the freedom to roam into dangerous territory.
- Do not listen to gossip.
- Be confident about the relationship and believe it will work out.
- Read a long distance relationship story, learn how it survived, and apply the lessons you learn to your relationship.
- Send long distance relationship text messages to your lover to tell him or her you trust them. It will inspire them to want to remain true to you.
- Talk to someone with long distance relationship experience and ask for advice on how to deal with your feelings.
5. Be Committed to the Relationship
Without commitment, there is no way this relationship can stand because it takes a lot of guts to remain true to someone you have not seen before, or who is not near you to give you physical affection when you need it.
You must make up your mind that you are going to make the relationship succeed. One way you can do this is to remind yourself of your partner constantly by looking at the pictures of your partner often. Also, record videos of yourself doing some interesting things and send it to your partner. Let him or her also send you a video recording of some exciting activities that they have engaged in. When you feel lonely, you are aching for him or her, and you do not have the time to call or text, just watch the video of your partner. It will give you a connection, refresh your feelings you have for him or her, and want you to stay committed to the relationship.
In addition you can make your long distance relationship work by:
1. Putting time and energy into it.
- Seriously resolving any conflicts that crop up.
- Keeping your heart for your partner by deciding to love only him or her, and refusing other romantic offers that will come from people of the opposite sex around you (who may be attracted to you and want to have a romantic relationship with you).
- Trying to constantly think about your lover even if you cannot communicate regularly.
Temptation to be unfaithful to your lover is one thing that can weaken your commitment to the relationship.
Do your best not to deliberately put yourself into a threatening situation and doing it recklessly and needlessly because your lover is not around. If you are reckless, your long distance relationship can break up.
On the other hand too, you will be tempted to be unfaithful to your lover—it is something you cannot run away from. The great and uplifting truth about temptation is that it is not meant to make us bad, but to make us good. It is not meant to weaken us, but to make us emerge stronger from the ordeal.
So how do you deal with the temptations that may come your way?
- See it as a test to help you prove your love for your partner.
- Realize that you may not be tempted only once; many temptations may come your way, and you must prepare your mind to resist all of them, and to persevere in your desire to remain true to your lover.
- Know that you will never be beyond temptation; do not feel too overconfident in your ability to resist temptation. For example if you are a woman and a man asks you out, do not think that you are so faithful to your long-distance lover and so even if you see another man, you can control your emotions and prevent yourself from developing feelings for him. Whenever someone else asks you out, politely refuse.
- Determine and make up your mind not to compromise on your feelings for your long-distance relationship lover, and to remain true to him or her.
6. Watch the Way You Socialize
You will need to be careful about the friends you make, and the social activities you engage in. For example, if your friends pass negative comments about long distance relationships, or create doubts in your mind regularly by telling you their distrust of long-distance relationships, it may affect you and make you start worrying about whether your relationship is safe or not, and as a result you may become disturbed mentally, start distrusting your lover, ask questions which may tell him you are getting suspicious of him or her, and this may cause tension between you and your lover. As a result, your commitment to the relationship, and your love for your partner can reduce, and cause a weakening of the relationship bond.
One of the long distance relationship difficulties is that you cannot go for parties with your lover. If you like going for parties, you may have to be selective about the parties you attend. This is to avoid a situation in which you may meet a person you will be attracted to, or to prevent yourself from doing something silly, for example getting drunk and sleeping with someone other than your partner, which could cause you guilt. If you know a party will be wild, and probably be full of promiscuity, avoid it.
Go to parties with friends of your same sex, and try to stick to members of your sex throughout the party. For example if you are a female, go to parties with female friends, and do your best to socialize with mostly females at these parties. This will prevent you from getting close to the males, and protect you from a situation where a male may be interested in you and ask you for a date.
7. Long Distance Relationship Devices
You can also use technology to connect emotionally when you miss your lover, and want to feel close to him or her. Get the thermal hug belt which stimulates the sensation of a hug by warming up certain parts of your body. Agree to use it whilst you are making a video call, or chatting on Facebook. Both of you should agree to put them on at the same time; it will make you feel connected, feel you are hugging your lover, and remind you that you still love your lover, and your lover loves you.
The LumiTouch, which consists of two interactive picture frames, is another piece of technology you can use to maintain your love. Let it help you to keep your lover in your thoughts, to create romantic thoughts about your lover, and make you continue to have feelings for him or her.
God is Omnipresent, which means He is everywhere. When you pray to Him and ask Him to look after your lover for you, and to keep him or her from temptation so that they will remain true to you, God will do it for you.
In addition, you can ask Him to keep you in the mind and thoughts of your lover, and He will do it for you if you believe—this will make your partner think about you often, and want to make the relationship succeed.
A long distance relationship Christian must involve God in the relationship, and know that God will help him.
If you feel your long distance relationship you are having is with your soul mate, and you know you are in love, put in the effort needed to sustain it, and you will be happy in the end.