How To Approach A Woman: 6 Things You Must Do

How to Approach a Woman: Be Confident


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There are different ways you can approach a woman if you are interested in her. Adopting the right approach will increase chances that you can strike up a friendship with her, and win her love in the long-run.

So, how can you approach a lady for a relationship? Below are the steps you can take to approach a woman for friendship.

1. Be Confident

A lack of confidence is one thing that can prevent you from taking a bold step towards getting to know the woman you are attracted to. You may lack confidence because of what you may have heard about her, how you perceive her character to be like, or because you just cannot imagine how you will feel if you are rejected.

A soldier does not go into a battle thinking that he may lose the battle; a soccer team does not go into a soccer match having it at the back of their minds that they will lose the game. Likewise, you must first of all believe in yourself and in your ability to win her. Having doubts about your abilities will defeat you mentally, and even before you approach her, you may have given up the fight. Therefore it is very important to make up your mind that you are a bold guy, a great guy, a marvelous guy who deserves such a great woman for a relationship; that is how to approach a lady and win her heart!

Do not think that other guys have an advantage over you; believe that whatever you have, be it a skill, your intelligence, or your body frame is enough to make you win the woman.

Positive thinking is a powerful tool you can use to make you feel confident. Use your mind to focus on your positive points, the strengths in your character, for example a good sense of humor, or your ability to engage in interesting conversation, or your beautiful smile, and let them give you the energy and the spirit to go forward—this is how to approach a lady to make her love you.

2. Get to Know Her Hang-outs

You must actively seek information about where this lady normally goes. This will give you an indication as to what her passions and interests in life are, information which you can use to have interesting conversations with her.

You can conveniently get this information by making friends with some of her friends and extracting that intelligence from them. Alternatively, you can get close to some of her relatives or co-workers and find sly ways of getting that information from them.

Make friends with her on Facebook, Twitter, and the other social media websites; this will give you a fair idea of her tastes and preferences in men, and some idea as to her character; like her comments and pictures, make comments on comments she passes, interact with her and get to know her more. But do not tell her you like her or that you think she is beautiful yet; she may report you and your account may be disabled or blocked.

This intelligence gathering should also make you know whether she is an introvert or an extrovert. If she is an introvert, then you must know you must show yourself to be a cool guy, to show gentleness when you are approaching her.

If she is an extrovert, then you must show you are a fun-loving, exciting guy when you approach her.

3. Brainstorm

After you have gathered enough information about her, sit down and digest that information so that you can plan how to approach her; the right approach  will ensure that you can make friends without being repulsed.

You should not forget your main objective  is to make a connection with  the woman; being rejected will defeat that purpose and so you need to strategize well to increase chances that you will achieve your aim.

Make a list of all the major things  you now know about her. For example, does she like moving with women or men?—note it down. Does she like wearing clothes of a particular color? Does she always use a particular route when she is going to work, or to class? Does she  like a particular food, sweet, or pet? Note all these down.

Research on her likes and learn as much as you can about them. If she likes clothes, try to learn about clothes. If  you get to know she likes a particular telenovella, watch episodes of that soap opera so that you can have something to talk about on your first meeting.

4. Approach the Woman

The next step is to plan when you will meet her. Timing is very important, and could be the difference between success and failure; approaching her at a time when she is in a lousy mood can mar everything for you. Therefore, make sure you notice she is in a good mood before you approach her.

It is also important that you approach her when she is alone; some people do not feel comfortable  meeting a new acquaintance in the presence of other people; it will also be to your advantage because you can handle the embarrassment better if she is not too responsive.

Plan to meet her at one of her hang-outs. Before you go, use the knowledge you acquired during your intelligence gathering. If you know she likes a particular color, dress in that color. For example if you got to know she likes yellow, wear a yellow shirt. In addition, brush up on the intelligence you gathered so that you will remember to include them in your conversation with her.


Approach Strategies

There are three strategies you can adopt;

  1. You can make it look accidental, as if you were going to the same place she was also going to, to do something important there and then you met her. For example, if you know she is going to her favorite restaurant, go there too at that same time, take a seat near her table, pay attention to what she orders, and order the same thing. Say something nice about the place or the meal to spark a conversation .

Another example is to go to class, her hostel, or the library when you see her going there, and saying something that can help you to get her attention and start a conversation.

  1. Make friends with her closest friends—women or men she feels comfortable going out with. When you do this, you would have introduced yourself into her social circle. With time, you will get to meet her often as these friends will invite you when they are going to see her; you will get close to her, it will be easier to establish a friendship, and propose love. This may take some time, but you have to be patient.
  2. If you are a bold man, then go to where she hangs-out and approach her directly. When you see she is cheerful and looks receptive for a conversation, go towards her; smile as you go towards her, make eye contact, walk with confidence, swag and purpose, and look cheerful—show you are an interesting person who would be great company if she makes friends with you.

When you approach her in a kind and friendly way, it will diffuse any potential tension and anxiety she may have, and create a conducive atmosphere for a conversation to materialize. You can start with a simple “Hi” and see whether she will respond. If the signals are positive, you can then initiate a conversation with her. If the signals are negative, be patient. There will be other opportunities to connect with her.

5. Make Interesting Conversation

When she seems interested in conversing, take advantage to complement her immediately. Lots of conversations begin when one person compliments the other. Women especially love to be complimented and you can take advantage of that to make a social connection with her. Take note of her hairstyle, her dress, or her shoes, and say something about these to make her happy, relaxed, and comfortable to start a conversation with you.

When she wants to know a bit more about you, tell her a bit about yourself. Do not go into too much detail that will make you sound boastful, but just enough to arouse her interest to make her want to know more about you.


Ask Conversational Questions

Ask her open-ended questions about her interests which will force her to talk more and can help keep the conversation going. Open-ended questions start with:

  1. Who?
  2. When?
  3. What?
  4. Why?
  5. Where?
  6. How?

For example, you can ask her, “Who is your favorite movie star?” or “What are your plans for the coming vacation?” or “Where would you like to go if you had a million dollars?” This will force her to talk more.


Your Body Language

Show keen interest in whatever she says. Feel relaxed and stay focused. Listen carefully to what she says and make comments related to what she is talking about. Be careful not to look at people passing, or to stare at the floor or the ceiling, or to stare at her; look at her a little, then look around a little.

6. Follow Up

When you are parting, you can tell her you enjoyed the conversation and would like to talk more about other things, and you want to know if she will be comfortable giving you her phone number.



These are some of the ways to approach a woman. If she consents, try your best to honor her, treat her specially, make the relationship exciting, and show her love, so that you can sustain the relationship for a long time.


Do you have any ideas on how to approach a woman? Share them with the world by leaving a comment. Thank you.



6 thoughts on “How To Approach A Woman: 6 Things You Must Do”

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    Still, the posts are too short for novices. May you please extend them a little from next time?
    Thank you for the post.


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