How to Help Your Spouse to Deal With Depression After She Is Diagnosed With Mesothelioma

diagnosed with mesothelioma
Diagnosed with mesothelioma

 

Mesothelioma is a rare form of cancer which normally affects the lining of the lungs. People who are exposed to asbestos have the highest risk of developing this disease.

According to a report released in 2017 by the US Centers for Disease Control, between 2,400 and 2,800 Americans are diagnosed with this disease every year.

Mesothelioma comes with other conditions, especially mental health problems. A substantial number of people who are diagnosed with mesothelioma become depressed after they learn that they have the condition: according to Asbestos.com, 25% of all cancer patients become depressed when they learn of their status.

Depression can worsen the health status of a spouse who is suffering from mesothelioma: Depression can weaken your spouse’s immune system (the body’s defense against infections) and that can reduce his or her chances of survival.

Additionally, when a spouse suffers from depression, he or she may isolate himself, or he may feel listless. Consequently, he or she may not relate to you affectionately and so you may not enjoy his company and your emotional connection as a married couple may weaken.

So, if your spouse has this disease and is suffering from depression, here are a few things you can do to make your spouse feel better so that you can continue to have a great marriage.

 

1.     Reaffirm Your Love For Your Spouse Every Day

Chemotherapy treatment, which may cause hair loss in your spouse, and other treatments, which can make your spouse put on excess weight or lose weight or which can affect the quality of your spouse’s skin, as well as what friends, family, and neighbors may say or think about the way they may have changed physically, can all make your spouse’s image of himself or herself change: they may feel unattractive. Consequently, your spouse may become insecure and may doubt that you still love them, and that can worsen feelings of sadness.

Therefore, make it a habit to keep reminding your spouse that you still love them and you still care about him or her even though they may have changed physically.

When you are reaffirming your love for your spouse, focus on the inner beauty, their outstanding character traits, to remind him or her that they have something valuable and worthy of adoration and that can help reduce feelings of worthlessness they may experience as a result of the changing image they may have of themselves.

For example, regularly, you may say something such as, “Yaa, I love you today just as I did when we first met. I still see the beautiful you, the kind, caring, understanding, considerate woman that I married and pledged to love till death parts us. My love, I want you to know that my affection  for you has not changed at all. I will keep loving you every day that we spend together. You are still the queen of my heart!”

When your spouse hears such encouraging words from the most important person in his or her life, it will make your spouse think less about the change in his or her physical looks and make him or her think about what is great about them and that can help your husband or wife to feel happier.

.

2.     Let Your Spouse Reconnect With Nature

Pain is one main contributory factor that makes mesothelioma patients feel miserable: your spouse’s cancer tumor may put pressure on surrounding nerves and organs and that can make your husband or your wife experience pain. Additionally, cancer treatments such as surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy can also make your spouse experience pain.

However, a study has revealed that people who view trees, or who view scenes of nature, or who can even view a plant in a room, are able to tolerate pain better than people who do not view nature.

Viewing trees or a plant, reconnecting with nature, can help to fill one with pleasant feelings, which can distract one and make him or her endure pain better. And when your spouse can handle the mesothelioma pain better, he or she will find it easier to walk around with a smile on his or her face.

And, other studies have shown that when one spends time in nature, it can help the person to control the symptoms of depression:  walking in a natural setting makes the area of the brain associated with depression to experience decreased activity and that can make a depressed person feel better.

So, if you live near woods, drive your spouse to the woods or walk hand-in-hand to the woods and spend time strolling through nature. As your spouse admires the trees, butterflies, birds and so on, he or she may be awed by the beauty of nature and that can inspire hope in your spouse, which will make him or her decide to enjoy life again.

Alternatively,  place potted  Golden Pothos, Peace Lily, or Arrowhead Vine in your spouse’s bedroom or sitting room and encourage your spouse to interact with these plants often because research shows that these plants can help one deal with depression: let your spouse feel the leaves often, or stand and admire the plants and it will make him or her feel better.

 

3.     Let Your Spouse Express His Or Her Gratitude Often

Research has shown that when a person feels grateful, it can help him or her to feel happier: feeling grateful causes the brain to release chemicals such as dopamine  and serotonin which are “feel good” hormones that make one feel happy and satisfied with life.

How can you encourage your spouse to express gratitude? Here are some ways you can help your partner to feel grateful:

  • Let your spouse write down 20 ways in which you have showed love to him or her during the week, at the end of every week. Furthermore, remind your spouse of the fact that it is not everyone who is diagnosed with mesothelioma who has a husband or wife to support him or her. It will make your partner appreciate your presence in their life. Consequently, your husband or your wife will see that he or she is privileged and that may influence your spouse to change his or her perspective and look at the positives of the situation instead of focusing on the pain and discomfort associated with the condition. As a result, he or she may choose to walk about with joy in the heart.
  • At the end of every day, sit down with your partner and let him or her write down 10 good things that happened in his or her life that day. Let your spouse read the blessings of the day to himself or herself over and over and encourage your spouse to reflect on the fact that despite his or her condition, good things are still happening to him or her. When your partner ruminate on this, he will find it easier to look at the bright side of life.

 

4.     Grow Flowers And Vegetables With Your Spouse

A study which was carried out in Norway revealed that when people do gardening, it helps their mood to improve.

So, grow allamandas, dahlias, marigolds, roses, bougainvilleas, artichokes, beans, egg plants, cauliflowers, celery, cucumbers, or leeks with her in your yard or your backyard.

As your partner focuses on planting an allamanda, watering the roses, or cutting dead bougainvilllea branches, his thoughts will shift from thinking about the disease often, to doing something responsible and that can help to drive negative thoughts from his mind.

Additionally, as the crops and flowers grow and blossom, it will make your spouse feel that he or she has achieved something worthwhile and that can boost your spouse’s self-esteem, which can help to drive away feelings of worthlessness.

 

5.     Exercise With Him Or Her Every Day

Some cancer experts recommend that a mesothelioma patient exercise regularly because it helps to improve mood, among other benefits.

Several studies have shown that when one exercises, stimulates the brain to release a group of chemicals known as endorphins which make one feel happy. When your spouse feels good, he is more likely to feel positive about life and he is more likely to walk around with a smile on his face, or to laugh when you crack a joke.

So, have a discussion with your spouse and make him understand the benefits he will derive if he chooses to exercise every day.

Additionally, let a mesothelioma survivor who shares the same sex as your spouse, and who got depressed when he or she was diagnosed with mesothelioma, but who took up the habit of exercising regularly and has experienced a mood boost, talk to him or her and encourage him or her to adopt that lifestyle too.

The testimony of this man or woman will be more compelling because your spouse will feel that once this person has also gone through what he or she is going through, that person’s word must be credible and if he also starts exercising, he will also benefit.

One kind of exercise you can do with your spouse is aerobic dancing: exercising whilst listening to your favorite music at the same time.  The accompanying music will help to lift your spouse’s spirit, as well as make the times of exercise feel less tedious. So, grab your spouse’s hand every morning or evening, turn on the sound system, and relive the early years of your marriage by doing the dance moves you used to do when you first met.

And to motivate your spouse to continue exercising, give him or her an incentive whenever they finish with their weekly regimen of exercise. For example, give him or her a loving massage, give your spouse a $20 or $50 tip, take your husband to watch his favorite soccer team in action, or take your wife to her favorite restaurant and give her a treat.

 

6.     Worship God With Your Spouse Often

diagnosed with mesothelioma
Worshiping Jehovah can help her

When your spouse worships Jehovah with you, it will remind him or her that the Loving Heavenly Father, who has helped him or her in the past, still cares and loves him or her and He will keep him or her. That can help to drive away feelings of worthlessness that may be plaguing your spouse.

Additionally, as your spouse focuses on God instead of himself or herself during worship, it will help your spouse to remember the nature of God: he or she will remember that with God all things are possible, and that can help drive away feelings of hopelessness, and that can make your spouse feel more positive about life.

So, encourage your spouse to worship God by saying something such as this often, “Jehovah, LORD God Almighty, I worship You for You are a great Creator. God, You are holy and righteous. All power, all glory, all honor belongs to You. Creator, You are worthy to be adored by the work of Your hands. You made the stars that shine in the dark night to remind us that when we experience darkness in our lives, You can make a star shine to give us hope. LORD, You created the sun that shines in the morning to remind us that when darkness fall on us, it is not the end of life because the sun will shin the next day: we will experience brightness and happiness in life again. LORD, You healed Hezekiah of his disease and added 14 more years to his life when he fell sick. You healed the sick of diseases in Bible days, and You still heal many of their diseases today. O Great God, Savior, Strong Deliverer, Merciful and Gracious Helper, kind and good God, I worship and praise You today because with You all things are possible. I worship You, LORD, Jehovah-rafai, our Healer because I know You can heal me. Nothing is too hard for You, Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omniscient miracle-working God. You do the things that men cannot do. Glory be to Your holy Name.”

When your spouse worships this way often, it will help to inspire hope in your partner and he or she is likely to feel more positive after this spiritual exercise.

Conclusion

When your spouse is diagnosed with mesothelioma and he suffers a depression as a result, reaffirming your love for him, drawing him close to nature, making him express his gratitude for the blessings he enjoys every day, and encouraging him to worship God often can help your spouse to feel better.

 

You Might Also Like To Read:

Dealing With The Fear Of Mesothelioma Survival Rates

Thinking Positively When Mesothelioma Survival Rates Scare You

Dealing With Depression After You Are Diagnosed With Mesothelioma

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright ©2018 All rights reserved Christian Dating Advice for Men

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

correction

Mesothelioma is a type of cancer that affects the cells that line the lungs which are known as the mesothelial cells. According to the US Centers for Disease Control (CDC), between 2,400 and 2,800 people in America are diagnosed with mesothelioma every year.

Research shows that about 1 out of every 4 cancer patients suffer from depression, and this rate is even higher in mesothelioma patients, especially in those with malignant mesothelioma.

Depression can worsen a mesothelioma patient’s health status: it can weaken his immune system and that can increase the chances that the cancer will spread to other organs.

And if the mesothelioma patient is in a romantic relationship, the depression can cause problems. Feelings of sadness about the disease can make you distance yourself emotionally from your partner or your spouse. Consequently, your lover may not enjoy your company and your connection as lovers may weaken and that can weaken the stability of the relationship.

So, what can you do to deal with feelings of depression after a diagnosis of mesothelioma cancer so that you can continue to live healthy, and so that you can continue to be fun, and so that your partner or spouse will continue to enjoy the relationship?

 

Exercise Often

One way to deal with depression when you are diagnosed with mesothelioma is to do exercises every day.

Some oncologists assert that when mesothelioma patients exercise, it can help them to deal with the feelings of sadness that mesothelioma patients experience after a diagnosis of mesothelioma.

Exercise stimulates the brain to release hormones known as endorphins which make one feel good, and which dulls the perception of pain in the body so that one can endure pain better.

Additionally, neuroscientists have found that the region of the brain that regulates mood is small in depressed men and women. Exercise makes the body release proteins known as neurotrophic factors (also known as growth factors). These proteins cause neurons, or nerve cells, to grow and make new connections in the brain and the region of the brain that regulates mood becomes big. Consequently, the brain works better and one feels good about himself or herself.

Lightweight strength training is one exercise that cancer experts assert is safe for mesothelioma patients to do. Accordingly, here is a lightweight strength training exercise you can do regularly to help boost your mood:

  • Put a 5-pound dumbbells in each hand.
  • Lie supine on a low bench or a low table, with your elbows bent, and with the weights against your chest. Make sure your feet are flat on the ground.
  • Inhale deeply and count up to 5.
  • Then, raise both dumbbells straight over your body.
  • Exhale and count up to 10.
  • Then lower both dumbbells to your chest again.
  • Inhale deeply again and count up to 5.
  • Repeat raising both dumbbells 10 times.
  • Then, let the dumbbells rest at your chest again.
  • Then, raise the dumbbell in your left hand over your body. Exhale.
  • As you lower the dumbbell in your left hand, raise the dumbbell in your right hand until whilst the dumbbell in your right hand is raised high up, the dumbbell in your left hand would be resting on your chest.
  • Repeat alternating the raising and lowering of the dumbbells in your hands 10 times.

 

Do Yoga Often

If your depression is mild or moderate, yoga can help you. Research has shown that yoga can help people to deal with mild or moderate depression: yoga stimulates the brain to release “feel good” hormones into the body and that boosts the mood of the depressed person. Additionally, yoga helps to reduce immune system chemicals that make one feel sad.

Therefore, do yoga poses often. There are many easy poses one can do to help relieve the symptoms of depression. Here is one of them:

  • Stand erect with your feet together and your arms by your sides.
  • Look straight in front of you. Concentrate on a  point in the distance. It may be the wall of your room, a tree in front of you, your wardrobe, or your mirror.
  • Breathe in deeply and as you do so, imagine that you are breathing in peace and calmness. Simultaneously, start raising your arms in front of your body and keep raising them until they are both pointing upwards by the sides of your head, with your palms pointing upwards.
  • Exhale.
  • Close your eyes, imagine you are hearing the best news you can ever hear in this world, inhale deeply, and raise your body on your toes.
  • Exhale and lower your arms slowly, laterally, until your hands are at shoulder level and your palms are facing forwards.
  • As you inhale, lower your feet until they are flat on the ground, and keep your eyes still closed.
  • Then, spread your feet about one meter apart.
  • Move both arms forward slowly and when they are about 45 degrees from their original position, move your right hand diagonally towards your left shoulder until your right hand grabs your left shoulder.
  • Then, slowly move your left arm diagonally toward your right shoulder and let it lie on your resting right arm.
  • Breathe in deeply and arch your body forward, and then downward as far as it can go. Count up to 10.
  • Raise your torso slowly and as you do, breathe out slowly.
  • When you are straight again, inhale deeply, count up to 10, and arch your body backwards as far as it can go.
  • Exhale and straighten up slowly again.
  • Breathe in, arch forward and downward again, and count  to 10.
  • Straighten up slowly as you exhale, inhale and count up to 10 when you are straight, and then arch backwards.
  • Exhale slowly and then straighten up slowly.
  • Repeat arching forward and downward, and arching backward when you straighten up, 20 times.

Additionally, you may do these yoga poses too to help you deal with your depression.

 

Boost Your Production Of Serotonin

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter, or a brain chemical, that sends messages from one part of the brain to other parts.

Neuroscientists assert that when the brain cells produce little amounts of serotonin, or when there are no receptor sites to receive the serotonin that is made in the brain, it makes one feel depressed. In other words, when one can boost his or her production of serotonin, one will feel better.

How can you boost your serotonin production?

  • Consume a lot of foods that contain tryptophan because tryptophan is the amino acid that is used to make serotonin in the brain: the cells in the brain that make serotonin combine tryptophan hydroxylase with tryptophan to produce serotonin. Therefore, eating foods rich in tryptophan can help boost serotonin production in the brain. Foods rich in tryptophan include eggs, chicken, rabbit meat, turkey meat, goat meat, duck meat, sardines, mackerel, tuna, beans, anchovies, mushrooms, and snails.
  • A study published in the Journal of Psychiatry and Neuroscience has revealed that changing your thoughts and thinking positively can change chemical reactions in your brain, and the flow of blood through the brain, and that can help you to feel better. One thing you can do to help you do that is to read an inspirational book such as the Bible. For example, read Jeremiah 31 v 20 where God says, “Is Ephraim my dear son? Is he my darling child? I do remember him still. Therefore, my heart yearns for him; I will surely have mercy on him, says the LORD.” It will remind you that though you are going through suffering, God still loves you and He has not forgotten you and He will have mercy on you and be gracious to you so that you can survive the mesothelioma. That will help you to feel happy.
  • Expose yourself to bright light, such as sunlight, often. Go outdoors often, take brisk walks in the sun for 30 minutes a day and the levels of serotonin in your brain will increase.

 

Socialize Often

A study carried out by the University College of Dublin has revealed that socializing can help one to deal with depression.

Talking to others can help you to release painful emotions so that you can feel better. Additionally, it will give you a sense of community and help to remind you that there are others with problems in the world and they are bearing their problems with fortitude and so you should also learn to bear your situation. Being reminded that you are not the only person in life facing struggles can give you some sense of relieve which will help you to feel fine.

So, go out and chat with friends or school mates often instead of locking yourself up in your room and crying or grumbling over your situation.

Alternatively, identify other mesothelioma patients in your town and invite them to have dinner with you sometimes so that you can chat about your disease over bowls of rice and encourage each other and give each other mutual support.

Another option you may consider is to join a mesothelioma support group where you will receive resources and other forms of help that will make you feel that you are not alone in this fight. The love and support of the members of the support group will help to give you hope and you will feel better.

 

Conclusion

To deal with depression when you are diagnosed with mesothelioma, do exercises every day, do yoga every day, boost your levels of serotonin, and spend time around other people and you will feel fine.

 

 

 

 

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5 Simple Ways to Deal With Depression After You Are Diagnosed With Mesothelioma

diagnosed with mesothelioma
Diagnosed with mesothelioma

 

 

Mesothelioma is a deadly form of cancer that affects the lining of the lungs and some other internal organs.

Many people who are diagnosed with mesothelioma also develop depression. Allowing depression to dominate you can weaken your immune system and that can worsen your health status: research shows that a weakened immune system can make the mesothelioma cancer spread to other organs.

So, what can you do to deal with your depression?

 

1.     Play With Your Pet Often

Many psychologists assert that when one takes ownership of a task, when one takes care of someone or something, it helps to boost self –esteem. Caring for a dog, cat, parrot, horse, owl or whatever animal you fancy can help you to feel responsible.

And when day after day you see that your pet is living a healthy life, it will help to reinforce your sense of responsibility. That can boost your self-confidence, which can drive away feelings of worthlessness.

So, get a rabbit or a dog and care for it. It may do things that will make you laugh and you will forget about your insecurities and your inadequacies.

Furthermore, when you take it out daily, you will get a good amount of exercise. Many studies have shown that exercising induces the brain to release chemicals that boost one’s mood.

 

2.     Listen To Music Often

Music will help you to express your emotions. You will find it easier to talk about your anger, frustration, sadness, pain, and other emotions with someone when you listen to your favorite music often. And  as you express yourself as you enjoy the music, negative energy will leave your body and you will feel fine.

 

3.     Practice Meditation Often

diagnosed with mesothelioma
Meditating often can help you to deal with depression

 

Some studies have shown that meditating can help one to deal with depression. When you meditate, you will learn how to avoid reacting to your negative thoughts. Consequently, you will find it easier to choose to be positive in the midst of discouraging circumstances so that you can feel happy all the time.

So, twice a day, do this exercise:

  • Go to your library or sit in your bedroom alone.
  • Sit on a mat or on a mattress on the floor.
  • Shut out all thoughts and focus 100% on your breathing.
  • When any other thought comes into your mind, push it away.
  • As you inhale, think “1” and as you exhale think “2.”
  • Keep counting your breaths until you get to 100.
  • Then, acknowledge your feelings to yourself. For example, if you feel an ache in your chest, think to yourself, “My chest aches. But it’s going to be okay. I will be fine.” Or, if you are sad, think to yourself, “I am feeling down. But things will not continue this way forever. I will get out of this mood.”

 

4. Exercise Regularly

According to the Harvard Medical School, exercising can help one to beat depression: when one exercises, a group of hormones known as beta-endorphins are released into the blood stream. These chemicals produce pleasant feelings in the body that makes one feel good about himself or herself.

And oncologists assert that activity is very good for mesothelioma patients.

So, exercise often. Here is an exercise you can do easily to help you boost your mood:

  • Stand straight, with your legs together.
  • Take in a deep breath. Count up to 10.
  • Exhale. Count up to 10.
  • Raise your body  on your toes. Stretch your hands to the sides. Count up to 10.
  • Raise your hands above your head and let them touch.
  • Inhale deeply. Count up to 10.
  • Exhale and bring your hands back to their original position.
  • Lower your feet until you are flat-feeted again.
  • Then, spread your legs.
  • Keeping your knees locked, bend forward until your body is parallel to the floor.
  • Stretch out your hands to the sides.
  • Breathe in deeply.
  • Count up to 10.
  • As you exhale, raise your body slowly to your starting position.
  • This is one cycle.
  • Repeat the exercise by doing four more cycles.

 

5.     Spend Time With Other People

Avoid staying in the house all by yourself watching basketball or baseball, or watching movies. Rather, visit friends and share the struggles you are going through, your hopes for today and tomorrow, and talk about things that will make you laugh.

Alternatively, make new friends on Facebook or Twitter, meet in person, and socialize: a study carried out by the University College of Dublin has revealed that when depressed people interact with other people, it helps to boost their self-esteem. When you feel great, you will feel more positive about life.

So, take an old schoolmate to lunch and talk about your school days, go to a movie with a neighbor, go and watch a funny play with your sister, go to a gallery with a friend and admire the paintings there, or cook and invite your family members to come over and have meal with you.

 

You Might Also Like To Read:

How To Deal With Depression When You Are Diagnosed With Mesothelioma

What You Can Do To Think Positively When You Are Scared Of Mesothelioma Survival Rates

How To Deal With The Fear Of Mesothelioma Survival Rates

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright ©2018 All rights reserved Christian Dating Advice for Men

 

 

 

 

 

Help for Spouses of Addicts: 7 Ways to Help Your Spouse

help for spouses of addicts
get the girl you love

 

Kofi’s wife is addicted to smoking marijuana and sniffing cocaine and he wants to know how he should manage the situation, as well as what he can do to help his wife overcome the habit.

“When I met her, she was a sweet, humble, loving woman and we had some great times. However, after we got married, she fell into bad company and started taking drugs. I know there is help for spouses of addicts to help them relate to their spouses in ways that can help them to make a positive change in their better-halves. I would appreciate it if I could get some tips to help me deal with the situation because I still love her and I don’t want to divorce her,” Kofi says, with a sad look on his face.

And there is help for spouses of addicts as Kofi indicated. In this article, I want to give you some of that help to help you cope if your wife is taking drugs.

So, what are some of the things you can do?

 

1.     Remind Yourself Of Your Wedding Vows

Recall the vows you made when you tied the knot and the promises you made to each other to love one another in sickness and in health. Write what you can remember of the vows in your diary or journal and read them often to yourself. It will increase the likelihood that you will be committed to helping your spouse overcome her habit: you are likely to feel a sense of obligation and that can increase the chances that you will support and encourage your spouse to make choices that will help her to beat the habit.

 

2.     Avoid Criticizing Your Spouse Too Often

Do not grumble and complain about the behavior of your wife or else she may get depressed. Consequently, she may have an excuse to indulge in the habit and so her situation may get worse. Additionally, avoid acting as though you are holy and she is a “dirty” person. Doing that will hurt her feelings and she may seek solace in taking drugs to drown her emotional pain, and that will make it difficult for you to convince her to seek professional help.

Rather, give your spouse emotional support and make her feel that you are a friend. It will make her feel loved and she may consider what she is doing to the marriage, and the ways she is messing up her life, and that can instigate her to reconsider her habit, which may be the turning point in her life: she may make a decision to do something about her addiction and that may increase the likelihood that she may seriously consider seeing a therapist.

Furthermore, supporting your wife and letting her know that despite her addiction you still love her, cherish her, and want the best for her will help her to overcome the shame she may be feeling as a result of what the habit may be doing to her. Consequently, she will start sharing fears and worries with you and that will give you an opportunity to make her realize how bad her habit is affecting your relationship, and the need to see a professional.

 

3.     Let Your Spouse Know That She Can Always Talk To You

Make your spouse understand that whenever she feels worried about her addiction, or when she needs someone to talk to, or when she feels afraid, she can always turn to you because you will listen. It will help to prevent a situation where she may turn to friends she takes drugs with, or friends who influenced her to start the habit in the first place and who will give her bad advice that can help to perpetuate the habit. When she knows you will listen and not judge her, she will come to you often and as she feels that the emotional connection is still there, chances are that you can convince her to seek help.

 

4.     Do Not Give Her Unsolicited Advice

Do your best to avoid lecturing her or preaching to her about her habit. When you do that, she may feel that you are judging her and that can help to breed resentment in her heart because she may feel that you think you are better than her. So, she may not connect with you so that you can influence her to stop the habit: she may start to distance herself emotionally and she may spend more time with the people who influence her to take the drugs.

 

5.     Remain Calm When You Are Talking To Her

You can become charged with negative emotions sometimes when you are communicating with your wife because she may say things under the influence of the drugs that will anger you. However, avoid shouting or screaming at her when she annoys you or when she tries to start an argument. To help you do that, remind yourself of the times when she was great to you, when she showed a lot of love to you and made you happy, and it will make you have empathy for her.

 

6.     Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

There are several benefits you can get when you work on your emotional intelligence, including the fact that it will help you empathize better with your wife. Consequently, you will avoid behaviors that will trigger fights, your wife will feel more comfortable to relate to you, and that can increase the likelihood that she will listen to you when you advice her to go to a rehab center.

You can use some of these tips to enhance your emotional intelligence.

 

7.     Let Her Spend Company With Women Who Have Also Kicked The Habit

Invite women who have also been addicted to drugs before , but who have successfully kicked the habit, and who are now living happy, fruitful lives, to your house often so that they can establish a friendship with your wife.

When they share their stories with your wife and let her see that taking drugs messes someone up, and

when they share how their lives have been transformed since they stopped taking drugs, and how they are enjoying life now, it is likely to make an impression on your wife and she may seriously reconsider what she is doing to herself.

 

Conclusion

In this article about help for spouses of drugs addicts, I have given you tips that can help you to relate well to your wife so that you can get her to change her behavior. Run with these tips and you are likely to see positive changes in the life of your wife, as well as in the marriage.

 

You Might Also Like To Read:

How To Cope With Your Girlfriend If She Is An Alcoholic

Strategies You Can Use To Get Your Alcoholic Or Drug Addicted Girlfriend To Seek Professional Help

How To Help Your Girlfriend When She Has A Panic Attack

How To Deal With Anxious Attachment

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright ©2018 All rights reserved Christian Dating Advice for Men

 

6 Excellent Ways to Start Talking to Someone On a Dating Site

how to start talking to someone on a dating site
how to start talking to someone on a dating site

 

Kwabena Sakyi has recently completed his profile on one of the free online dating sites on the internet and he wants to know how he can engage a woman he wants to date. “I want to know how I can start talking to someone on a dating site: I have seen this gorgeous woman  and I don’t want to botch things up by saying  the wrong things or giving her a wrong impression of who I am. What should I say when I send her the first message? What should I write so that I can grab her attention?” Kwabena asks, with a smile on his face.

In this article, I want to show you some of the things you must say when you start talking to someone on a dating site so that he or she will become interested in you.

These are the secrets.

1.     Start With Something Very Simple

Start by sending the woman a very short message. In this message, ask her how she is doing so that she will reckon that you are a caring guy and that can increase the likelihood that she will want to be your friend.

So, you may write something such as, “Hello, sweetheart! How is life treating you?” or “Hi! What are you doing at the moment?” or “What’s up?” or “Want to chat?”: they are all good ways you can start talking to someone on a dating site.

Starting this way will help you to get rid of your nerves, if you feel nervous. Additionally, it will make it easy for her to read the message, as well as captivate her, and she may decide to find out who this guy is who gathered courage to send her a message.

 

2.     Let Her See That You Are An Intriguing Guy

After she responds, show her that you are a creative guy. It will make her feel that you can come up with different ideas to maintain fun and excitement in the friendship and that may motivate her to respond to your message so that she can have an enthralling life.

So, you may write something such as this, “Ever ridden on the back of crocodiles before? I imagine that is beyond your wildest dreams! But I have done it a number of times at the Paga crocodile pond. I sat on a crocodile for 5 minutes. And I can assure you it’s no joke! And that’s not all. I visited the Mole National Park and went hunting in the dead of the night. It was so eerie. And guess where I am off to next week?”

 

3.     Praise Her

Every woman wants to be praised by a man and you will receive a thumbs up from her if you say something nice about her profile photo, or if you say something nice about what she has written in her profile.

So, scrutinize her photo and say something that will make her feel that you like her. For example, if she uploads a picture in which she is sitting in her room, you may write something such as this, “I see your room is very well kept. I believe you are a very neat and organized woman. That is the kind of woman I like to hang out with. Keep it up.”

If you like the dress she is wearing, you may say something such as this, “That dress you were wearing when you took that picture is first class. And I must say it looks great on you. You should consider wearing it often for it really makes you look attractive.”

 

4.     Look  For Common Ground

Carefully browse the woman’s profile description and look for interests that both of you share. This can  help you to catch her attention quickly because you will be able to raise a topic for discussion that she may be passionate about. And when you send her a question that asks about something that she likes doing, she will feel that she is likely to engage in exciting conversations with you since both of you will find it easy to be on the same page: she will feel that you can build rapport quickly, and that may influence her to respond to your message.

So, for example, if after going through her profile you see that she loves soccer, and you also love soccer, you may ask her a question such as, “I have been arguing with guys about this: was Pele a better footballer than Maradona, or is Cristiano Ronaldo a better footballer than Lionel Messi? I want to know your views.” Asking her a question based on your common interests will start an interesting interaction which will help both of you to bond.

5.  Ask Her  A Personal Question

Studies have shown that when one makes people talk about themselves, it makes them like you. Therefore, if you can make the woman share something personal about her life with you, she will feel a connection and that can increase the chances that she may start a relationship with you.

So, you may ask her things such as, “What is the funniest thing you did when you were in junior high school?” or “Tell me about your brothers,” or “What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you since you were born?” or “What do you normally do when you close from work?” or “How do you spend your weekends?”

 

6.     Show That You Have A Sense Of Humor

Research has shown that women like guys who can make them laugh: when you exhibit a sense of humor, it will tell the woman that you can entertain her and make her forget about some of her worries and she will be curious to know more about to you.

So, craft a nice joke and deliver it to her and she will stop for a moment and say to herself, “This guy seems interesting. Let me see where this can lead to.”

 

Conclusion

This is how to start talking to someone on a dating site: keep it simple at first. And then try to come across as a fun-loving guy, praise her, elicit personal information from her, and let her see that you have a good sense of humor.

 

You Might Also Like To Read:

How To Find Love Online

Finding Love On A Dating Site

Tinder Profile Tips For Men

Dating Profile Examples 1

Dating Profile Examples 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright ©2018 All rights reserved Christian Dating Advice for Men

 

Incorporate Me Deeper Into Your Heart: Awesome Ways to Create a Great Relationship

incorporate me
incorporate me

 

Yaw Manu has been in a relationship with Yaa Amponsah for six months now and Yaa feels that their relationship is not strong enough. “Yaa has been saying to me often, ‘Incorporate me deeper into your life so that we can have a fantastic relationship.’ I love Yaa very much and she loves me too and we want this relationship to continue until we marry.  I know that there are areas we can improve upon and we have begun working on those areas. However, I need more ideas to help us have a strong relationship. I want to know things I can do so that my girlfriend can also incorporate me deeper into her heart. I would be happy if you could help me in this regard,” Yaw requests.

If you also feel that there is a lot of room for improvement in your romantic relationship, then here are some things you can do to create a great relationship.

 

1.     Remind Yourself Of The Early Days Of The Relationship Often

Talk about what you used to do when you first started dating, and how you related to each other then, and some of the things you did that helped to maintain the love in your relationship. Then, start doing some of those things again. It will help to rejuvenate the love you feel for each other and you will bond better and stronger.

 

2.     Show Gratitude To Your Girlfriend Every Day

A study has revealed that when lovers show gratitude, it can make the lovers feel strongly bonded to each other. Additionally, appreciating your partner will make him or her feel satisfied to be in the relationship.

So, when you appreciate the sacrifices that your girlfriend makes to make you happy, it will make her feel happy and she will be willing to do more to enhance the quality of the relationship.

Furthermore, when you let her know that what she is doing for you touches your heart and makes you have stronger feelings for her, she will see that you care about her and she is more likely to also develop deeper affection for you.

So, thank her when sacrifices her credit to call you. Thank her when she spends quality time with you engaging you in exciting conversation. Thank her when she nurses you during sickness, and let her know that you appreciate it when she tells you she loves you.

 

3.     Practice Active Listening

Good communication is essential for the stability of any romantic relationship: when you can express yourself well and get your girlfriend to understand the messages that you want to convey, you will find it easier to address differences and resolve conflicts and that will help both of you to maintain the stability of your relationship.

One aspect of communication you must take seriously is active listening. How do you do that?

  • Do your best to be sensitive to what she says to you, instead of ignoring her concerns and the issues she may have about the way you are treating her, or instead of ignoring the changes she wants you to make in the way you relate to her so that the relationship can become stronger.
  • Additionally, when you have conversations, let your girlfriend know that you are following what she is saying by asking her to clarify certain points, asking her questions based on what she said to you, looking into her face, nodding when she says something you appreciate, and shaking your head when she says something that you disagree with.

Listening to her actively will make her feel that you value her opinions and her concerns and that can help her maintain the love she has for you.

 

4.     Be Kind To Your Partner

When you show kindness to your girlfriend, she will feel wanted and that will make her feel happy, which will increase the likelihood that she will be emotionally stable. When her emotions are in a state of equilibrium, she is more likely to relate to you lovingly and that can help to enhance the connection between the two of you.

So, avoid criticizing her unfairly or condemning her when she makes mistakes. Rather, focus on her positives, remind yourself of the things she does right in the relationship, and let that help you to treat her with respect and honor.

 

5.     Show Humility At All Times

A study has revealed that humility can help to make a relationship last for a long time. When you choose to be humble, you will find it easier to say to your girlfriend, “What you did hurt me, but because I love you so much, and for the sake of our relationship, I forgive you.”

Additionally, when you choose to be humble, you are more likely to sacrifice your comfort to make her feel happy in the relationship. Consequently, she is more likely to be pleased with the way you treat her, she may reciprocate by treating you with respect and honor, and that can help to solidify your relationship.

So, show humility. How can you do that?

  • Remind yourself often that there are things she can do better than you. Moreover, remind yourself often that there are things which you need her to do for you. When you remind yourself of your limitations this way, you will be more willing to learn from her and that will make it easier for you to control your ego.
  • Admit your mistakes when you make them. And learn to apologize to her when you see that you have erred.
  • Learn not to take things she does which you are not comfortable with too seriously all the time. Learn to laugh at yourself and some of her goofs sometimes because it will help you to control your pride, as well as help you to resist the urge to retaliate when she says or does something you dislike.

 

6.     Be Quick To Forgive Your Girlfriend When She Hurts You

When you forgive your girlfriend, when you choose to release bitterness, you will find it easier to relate to her with respect and that can help both of you to resolve conflicts amicably. Resolving differences in a peaceful manner will help to maintain the stability and integrity of the relationship.

Additionally, when you learn to forgive, you will not engage in shouting matches with her when you have disagreements. Consequently,  tempers may not rise to the point where both of you will feel very bitter towards each other, and that will make it easier  for you to discuss your differences and solve them in a spirit of understanding.

 

 

Conclusion

Your partner may say to you sometimes, “Incorporate me deeper into your life so that we can have a great relationship.” To do that, remind each other of the early days of your relationship and try to relive those days, thank your girlfriend for what she does for you, listen to her concerns with an empathetic ear, show kindness to her, do your best to be humble, and forgive her from your heart when she wrongs you.

 

You Might Also Like To Read:

How To Cope With Your Girlfriend If She Is An Alcoholic

How To Be Patient With Your Girlfriend

How To Become More Patient Towards Your Girlfriend

How To Humble Yourself In Your Relationship

How To Help Your Girlfriend If She Is A Drug Addict

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright ©2018 All rights reserved Christian Dating Advice for Men

 

 

Focus On The Family: 6 Smart Ways To Deal With Divorce

focus on the family
focus on the family: ask for the support of family members

 

Kofi Amponsah has just gone through a bitter divorce and he is filled with thoughts of revenge and bitterness and he wants to know how he can deal with the pain and bitterness.

“I did my best to focus on the family. I did my best to love Ashorkor with all my heart! And that is why I paid her school fees to help her get through college, and that is why I bought gifts for her and our two kids often. I sacrificed other interests so that I could spend quality time with the family on weekends. However, she chose to pay me back by cheating on me. I confronted her and informed her family about her infidelity when I found out she was having an affair and she admitted she was cheating. I was prepared to try to work things out, but she asked for a divorce because she said I had disgraced her. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what will happen to the kids. I am very hurt. After all that I invested in her, she chose to divorce me! I want to know how I can deal with the pain in my heart,” Kofi says, with an angry look on his face.

A divorce can cause emotional turmoil and also cause bad blood between two former lovers. In extreme cases, some men go to the extent of physically harming their exes out of pain and anger.

In this article, I want to focus on the family and look at how a man can deal with the pain of a divorce in healthy ways so that he will not do harm to himself or others.

Ready to roll? Here we go…

 

1.     Write Your Feelings Down In Your Journal

Journaling is a good way to deal with divorce. It will help you to clear your mind and that can help you to figure out what you will do next, and how you will manage yourself so that you can cope with your new situation.

  • So, write down 10 of the most horrible thoughts that come into your mind about your former husband or former wife and which make you feel like doing something to hurt them back.
  • Write down how you feel every two hours during a day so that you can keep track of your emotional changes. It can help you to take immediate remedial measures when you feel extremely negative, such as phoning a friend or relative for a chat.
  • Pen down lessons you have learned as a result of the divorce and how it has helped you to mature as an individual.
  • Write down 10 things you will do every day to occupy yourself so that you will not reminisce about what you could have done differently and what your ex should have done to make the marriage work.

 

2.     Prepare For Your New Status

When you divorce, many new responsibilities are thrust onto your shoulder which you must deal with. For example, you may have depended on your wife for money to buy clothes, shoes, and to pay the bills and you will now have to take care of those things by yourself. Or, you may have depended on your wife to cook for you, clean the house, and pay part of the bills in the house.

Therefore, you must sit down and assess ways in which you have to adjust or upgrade your skills so that you can handle the extra responsibilities that you will be faced with.

For example, if you don’t know how to cook, you may consider going for cooking classes so that you can cook homemade meals. Or, if you are poor at managing finances, you might consider educating yourself about financial issues such as how to manage your finances, ways to do profitable investments, how to save and so on.

 

3.     Try To Bring Order Back Into Your Life

When a divorce occurs, you may become so confused that you will find it difficult to follow your daily and weekly routine: you may fail to talk to close friends, you may stop watching your favorite sport, you may avoid hanging out with your male friends, or you may stop going to church.

However, you are more likely to get over the breakup faster if you do your best to live your life as close as possible to when there was order and structure in your life. This will help you to feel that you are still in control of the situation and that can make it easier for you to focus on today, and expect that possibilities may open up tomorrow, instead of mourning about the divorce.

 

4.     Set New Goals Or Your Life

It can feel intimidating when you consider that you will have to go through life without the woman who lay next to you in bed, and who would welcome you home every evening with a hug and a kiss.

To help you overcome this feeling, sit down with a pen and your diary or journal and write down goals you hope to achieve by the end of the month, at the end of three months, at the end of six months and so on. It will help you to feel that you are starting afresh and that can help to induce some excitement in you.

Furthermore, it will help you to focus firmly on the future, which will make it easier for you to forget about regrets.

 

5.     Do Volunteer Work

Volunteering is good for your mind: when you invest your time in others, when you spend time with people, you will feel connected to people again and that can help to drive loneliness and despair out of your life.

Additionally, helping others to solve their problems will help to remind you that you are a responsible man who can still solve problems and impact on the lives of others and that can help to boost your self-confidence again.

So, volunteer to help kids learn how to play soccer, take care of animals in a zoo, help a neighbor repair his car, help out at the office of your political party, spend time with lonely elderly men and keep them company, or share gospel tracts in your neighborhood or go overseas to do Evangelism.

 

6.     Focus On The Family: Seek Family Support

A study has revealed that social support can help one to deal with stress. When you talk to members of your family or friends, the pain of the divorce will lessen as you share the pain in your heart and as you talk about your fears, and worries about the future, and your concerns about the kids.

So, keep constant contact with your family members and let them know how you feel at every stage of this tough journey.

 

Conclusion

In this article about focus on the family: how to deal with a divorce, I have shown you that journaling, preparing for new responsibilities that you will have to take up, doing your best to maintain order, setting new goals for your life, helping others, and seeking solace in the love of your family can all help you to survive.

 

You Might Also Like To Read:

Dealing With A Depressed Girlfriend

How To Help Your Wife When She Gets Depressed After Giving Birth

How To Help Your Girlfriend If She Is A Drug Addict

How To Help Your Girlfriend When She Has A Panic Attack

Strategies You Can Use To Get Your Alcoholic Or Drug Addicted Girlfriend To Seek Professional Help

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright ©2018 All rights reserved Christian Dating Advice for Men

 

9 Intelligent Ways to Get Over Someone

how to get over someone
how to get over someone: tell yourself that it is over

 

Kwasi Tweneboah has broken up with his girlfriend recently and he wants to know how to get over someone so that you can put back some order into your life.

“Akua cheated on me and I could not forgive her. So, I called it quits. However, I think about Akua often and that disturbs me. I can’t focus on work and my supervisor has been complaining of late. Additionally, I don’t enjoy life anymore. Food tastes like sand in my mouth; I don’t enjoy playing soccer like I used to; I don’t spend time with friends because when we go out, I just make up the numbers. How do you get over someone cheating on you? The affair she had still makes me angry and sometimes I feel like revenging. And, yet, I want to stop thinking about her. How do you get over someone and stop thinking about them?” Kwasi asks.

In this article, I want to show you how to get over some and even still be friends, for you never know ,you may need the help of your ex years down the line.

So, what should you do?

 

1.     Tell Yourself That It Is Over

Even if you still have feelings for him or her and you think there is a slim chance that you may get back together again, tell yourself that you will never come back together again. This will help you to focus on your life, to focus on now so that you can reorganize yourself and look at the opportunities that are open before you (guys who are interested in you and who were praying for this breakup), and that can make it easier for you to bring back structure and order into your life.

On the other hand, if you keep hoping that he or she may come back, and they never do, you will suffer more heartache and that may crush your spirit.

 

2.     Look At How You Have Benefited Since You Broke Up With The Person

It is true that you loved the person who broke up with you and you experienced some wonderful moments when you were in a relationship with him or her. However, if you sit down for a moment and reflect, you will see that the relationship also robbed you of something, which you have gained back after you broke up with him or her: it may be that you now have enough time to study your books; it may be that you can focus on building your career now. Or, you may have the freedom and time now to visit exotic locations in your country, or around the world.

So, deliberately focus your attention on how you have benefitted, instead of making yourself miserable by reminiscing about the marvelous times you spent with your ex.

To help you do this, write down about 20 ways your life has improved since the breakup, or 10 things you can do now which you could not do when you were in the relationship with the man or woman. This exercise will make you see that you are not the miserable wretch that you may feel you are and so you should enjoy life as it comes.

 

3.        See The Positives Of The Breakup, And Not Only The Negatives

Remind yourself that nothing in this life happens just by chance and so the dissolution of the relationship will yield good results: it will make you a better person and you will meet a far better lover than the man or woman you broke up with. This will make you look forward to the future with hope in your heart, which will make it easier for you to forget about the pain of the past relationship.

You can feel that something great is going to come out of the breakup by making positive affirmations such as this one to yourself often, “Yes. The past relationship was enjoyable, but it was not the best relationship that I can ever have in this life. I can experience something far more wonderful than that relationship and I will look forward to that relationship.”

 

4.     Unfriend Your Ex From Facebook

A study published in the journal Cyberpsychology some years ago revealed that men or women who keep visiting the profile of their ex’s Facebook profile are likely to feel bitter towards their ex. Additionally, their affection for their ex is likely to be rekindled.

When you have negative feelings towards your ex, you are likely to plot revenge against him or her, or you are more likely to harbor anger in your heart. These things will make you think of him or her often, and you can never move on as a result.

However, if you remove reminders of your ex from your private space, and you avoid trying to know what is going on in his or her life, you will find it easier to think about other things and the memories of that past relationship, as well as the memory of your ex, will fade gradually over time.

 

5.     Eat Fruits And Vegetables

Fruits and vegetables release hormones that can make one feel happy, such as dopamine. These hormones will make you feel calm and relaxed. Consequently, you can focus on your life and your relationship with the people around you better.

 

6.     Exercise Every Day

Research has shown that exercising makes the brain release a group of chemicals known as endorphins which give one a “feel good” feeling. Consequently, you will feel happy every day and it will make you miss the man or woman who broke your heart less.

 

7.     Rebuild Your Self Confidence

Remind yourself that you are a great person and so you can make someone else fall in love with you. This will prevent you from thinking that no one may love you again, which will cause nostalgia and make you miss your ex.

 

8.     Participate In Research On Breakups

A study published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science in 2015 revealed that taking part in research on breakup can help one to get over a breakup.

Taking part in these surveys will help you to reorganize how you view yourself: you will look at all the angles of the breakup and that will make you see perspectives that you may not have considered before. As a result, you will be able to come to terms with the situation and that can make it easier for you to move one.

 

9.     Do Something Helpful For Others

Some studies suggest that when one donates his or her time to help alleviate the suffering of others, it can help the person to get rid of loneliness.

Additionally, connecting with people and helping them will help you to hear stories of survival and resilience, which will make you see that compared to other people, you are fortunate. Consequently, you will feel more grateful about your life and that can make you forget about the whole bad affair.

So, get out of the house and go shopping for a friend or relative. Or, teach adults a foreign language, visit a lonely student in your alma mater, mow the lawn of your neighbor, or take care of the pet of an old school mate and you will feel happy.

 

Conclusion

This is how to get over someone: face the reality and accept that you will not get back together with your ex again, remind yourself of the good things that have happened in your life since the breakup, allow yourself to see that things will work together for good, cut contact with your ex, share your experiences with others, and give your time and energy to the disadvantaged in society.

 

You Might Also Like To Read:

How To Be Patient With Your Girlfriend

How To Become More Patient Towards Your Girlfriend

How To Humble Yourself In Your Relationship

How To Deal With Anxious Attachment

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright ©2018 All rights reserved Christian Dating Advice for Men

 

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